After an eight hour flight to Germany, sitting next to a man on whom I had accidentally sneezed; after taking a train I wasn't even sure was correct from the Düsseldorf airport to the Hauptbahnhof (main station) of the city in which I would be studying, I stood at track seven with my 50 pound suitcase and cumbersome backpack.
It was 35 degrees Fahrenheit and cloudy. Though it was noon in Dortmund, I had been displaced from my regular time zone so it might as well have been 6 a.m. since my traveling began the evening before in the U.S. As soon as my train arrived, I scrambled down through the crowds into the station to phone my university contact, using the change I got from breaking a 20 Euro bill with the purchase of Tic Tacs.
The track sign read that the S1 had been canceled, though at the time, I couldn't understand it or the man on the loudspeaker explaining. But then I met the angel of sorts that my mother promised I'd meet on the way, who informed me of the delay through his broken English. Someone threw themselves in front of the train, he told me.
My helper was also a student at the same school, so, once a back-up plan was announced for the S1, he led me through a route of buses and trains that I would never have been able to maneuver alone. After he showed me another pay phone at the university, he walked away and said, "Welcome to Germany."
Effective periodic sentence to open this. Very good details: the weight of the pack, the TIc Tac purchase to break a bill, the weather, etc all combine to create a sense of displacement and alienation. The unexepected appearance of both angel and death (Someone had thrown themselves...)
ReplyDeletea couple things:he informed you in broken English, not through it. And I'd stay with angel: "My angel, who was also a student..." (though do we need to know that he is a student and at your school too? Unless these details are significant and contribute to the piece, leave them out. Here perhaps it is best if he appears, assists, and disappears. FInally, he says "Welcome to Germany" before or as he walks away, not after.
There are tiny bits of humor to enjoy in this that I think could be expanded; we get it at first with the very first line, a tiny bit of it with breaking the 20 bill, another bit of the man with broken English ; he's called an angel, and then tells the writer about someone throwing themselves in front of a train. And then at the end just leaves. Could any more of that be built on, if the piece were expanded into a larger one?
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